Devlin's Potty humor(and other Chinglish)

Shanghai Nancy has come to the rescue. (to help explain the NQR- Not quite right life in China).

As you can see the Chinese are kind enough to give us signs to explain: 

First WHO you  are? Lots of  the Devlin clan- as well as friends of the clan- are Ragamuffins (and proud of it!).

Those not in this category will kindly be placed in the latter 2 areas.(Note: we not longer need to read the entrance regulations having been excluded from the start.)

Kindly refrain from placing your "Junks" in the toilet.

Consequences below:

 

China Apartments- What is this?

Looking at Apartments online in China I found these two view: 

Help What are these items?

So far my sister Carol has the funniest best answer, particularly for the foyer:

Picture 1 is a hair dryer.  (old outdated-ok maybe you have never been in establishments with this upgrade!)

Picture 2 shows the accoutrements for a little known chinese ritual involving tea kettles, giant bird baths, potted trees, plastic tubs and spray bottles.  First, you take the spray bottle and coat the tree with water.  You then collect the drippings using the plastic tub.  Transfer the drippings from the plastic tub to the tea kettle.  Heat the water to boiling.  Fill the bird bath.  Repeat until bird bath is full of hot water.  (TIP:  Act quickly or the water will cool.)  Buy a freshly slaughtered chicken, head still attached.  Holding the chicken by its head, dip it repeatedly into the bird bath full of hot water.  This will loosen the feathers.  Lay the chicken on the table and pluck the feathers, which have been loosened by the hot water.  (Save the feathers for another ritual, one that also involves the tree, a chinese opera singer and the theme song from the original three stooges movies -- more on this in a future email.)  Cook the chicken using flavorings and sauces of your choice.  Be careful of the feathers you were unable to pluck - they tend to stick in your throat.  DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT use the water in the bird bath for chicken soup --  unless of course you have access to the giant strainer that sits inside the giant bird bath.  PS, the giant birdbath also serves as a footbath, which is why it is common in the foyers of chinese apartments.  Skip the chicken and heat the water just short of boiling.  This explains why the chinese are so fond of chicken feet.

 

That should make you laugh and be happy for the new experience I can look forward to in the near future.

SMILES Diane

What's your interpretation?